The Boss Who Sabotages Your Self-Esteem: The Effects of Toxic Leadership

A good leader inspires, motivates, and helps others grow. But when leadership becomes a source of fear, insecurity, and devaluation, we’re talking about a toxic boss. It’s not just about someone being demanding—it’s a management style that, little by little, sabotages the self-esteem of those who work under it.

What Is Toxic Leadership?
Toxic leadership shows up when authority is used to control, humiliate, or manipulate rather than to guide and develop the team. These bosses often disguise their behavior with phrases like “I just want you to give your best” or “this is what real work looks like,” but in reality, they use power to instill fear and dependency.

This kind of leadership can take many forms: constant criticism, lack of recognition, setting impossible goals, or even taking credit for others’ work. And while it may be “normalized” in some workplaces, the emotional effects run deep. People begin to doubt their abilities, feel inadequate, and lose confidence in themselves.

When work stops being a place of growth and becomes a space that wears you down and harms you, self-esteem erodes. What’s most concerning is that the impact doesn’t stay at work—it spills into personal life, relationships, and emotional health.

Signs Your Boss Is Damaging Your Self-Esteem
Recognizing these behaviors is the first step to stop normalizing them:

• Baseless criticism: constantly pointing out mistakes but rarely offering solutions or recognizing achievements.
• Lack of support: withholding guidance or resources, waiting for you to fail in order to reinforce their power.
• Harmful comparisons: pitting you against coworkers in a destructive, competitive way.
• Excessive control: micromanaging every detail with distrust, sending the message that you’re not capable.
• Public devaluation: using mockery or negative comments in front of others to undermine your confidence.
• Indifference to well-being: ignoring your limits and needs, prioritizing only results.

These are not signs of healthy leadership. A demanding boss can challenge you, but will also recognize, listen, and motivate. A toxic boss, on the other hand, slowly chips away at your confidence until you believe you’re not good enough.

If you recognize these dynamics in your workplace and feel your self-esteem is being affected, don’t ignore it. Emotional health deserves care at work too. Seeking professional support can help you regain your confidence and find strategies to manage—or leave—harmful situations.

We invite you to book a session with us and take the first step toward strengthening your personal and professional well-being.