The Need for Approval and How to Stop Depending on Others' Opinions

Wanting to please is human. We all need to feel accepted, valued, and loved. But when others' opinions become the center of your decisions, you fall into the trap of external approval. This constant search makes you lose sight of who you are.

The need for approval manifests on many levels. Maybe you find it hard to say no, change your opinions to avoid discomfort, or constantly seek validation for your achievements or decisions. Sometimes you don't even know if what you do is for yourself or to please others.

Living from this need is exhausting. It forces you to always be attentive to what others think, say, or expect. It makes you mold yourself to fit in, even if it means losing your authenticity. The price is high. You lose freedom, spontaneity, and connection with yourself.

It Starts in Childhood

This dependency often originates in childhood when you learned that your value was conditioned on behavior, grades, obedience, or others' acceptance. This way of relating becomes a norm you repeat without questioning.

But you can change it. And it all starts by recognizing yourself as the only valid judge of your life. You don't need constant approval to know that you are valuable, enough, and deserve to live according to your own values.

Start by observing when you seek to please more than necessary. What do you fear losing if someone doesn't approve of you? What part of you feels vulnerable to rejection? Sometimes this need hides the fear of being alone, rejected, or feeling invisible.

Strengthening Your Self-Esteem is Fundamental

The clearer you are about who you are and what you need, the less you will depend on others' opinions. Learn to say no without guilt. Make decisions based on what is good for you, not what others expect. Surround yourself with people who accept you for who you are, not for what you do for them.

It's not about becoming indifferent, but about consciously choosing whom to listen to and why. Not all opinions have the same weight or come from the same place. Listen to those who love you, but don't live to please.

And if this need becomes very intense or paralyzing, seek psychological support. A therapist helps rebuild your sense of value from within and live with more authenticity and peace.

Your life is yours. It doesn't need approval, just decision.